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Thursday, February 20, 2014

How Am I Supposed To Blog Without You?

I am nearly 100% happy pappy with the results tonight but I am slightly concerned that I don't see any one I can be snarky about this season (with the possible exception of Fish Boy Alex Preston). I would have liked to see Briana Oakley make the cut instead of Emily Piriz or Kristen O'Conner and I would have liked to see Malcolm in place of Caleb but overall, I think America got it right.

The 10 America liked, in order of announcement were:

Malaya the Tuba Player.  I love her spirit, her glasses, and her braces.  Not sad she went through. 

Ben Briley.  I don't know why he was on the cusp to begin with especially considering they put the Fat Albert Kid and Emmanuelle ahead of him.  America is going to like Ben for quite awhile.  He may get old to me but I'm not sad he went through. 

Emily Piriz.  I have no idea what her appeal is.  Maybe she got votes based on her Hollywood performance because I cannot imagine last night's performance appealed to anyone.  Not sad she went through but hoping to be not sad when she goes home at 12 or 13.

Alex Preston.  He was going to be the one I snarked about all season until Spinny came along and took over the prime villian of the season slot.  I don't think he is a villian but I think he might be a Phil Phillips clone...pained faced and all.  I was reminded by Slezak's blog that Volcano was one of Phillips' moments.  It was too much to expect that a musician as good as Alex is would not make the top 13 either through votes or a wild card.  Sad he went through and will be livid if he wins but for now I can live with it on the hopes he will screw up royally at some point.

Jessica Muese.  I will root for her for as long as she stays on because I like music and I like that she is not some sweet young thing who just wants to wear pretty clothes and makeup (cough cough Borea and Mariella).  Not sad at all she made it through.  Will be sad when she goes home.  

Dexter Roberts.  Pretty much a foregone conclusion he was going through.  Not sad but not inspired either.  Note to the stylists:  tight fitting shirts do not help his appearance. Man boobs are never attractive.

Caleb Johnson.  Aack...sort of sad he went through but my hope is he will be gone soon.  

Majesty Rose.  She deserved it even if she has a made up name.  Not sad. 

MK Nobilette.  She was bound to go through either with votes or a wild card.  I'm glad she got the votes because it proves that the AI voters are not all bigots as has been posited in prior years.  

Sam Wolfe.  What a sweet young man.   He reminds me of my nephew (although my nephew cannot sing) who I miss very very much.  Not sad at all about this one.  

Now for the wild cards.  I didn't agree with them giving Borea and Spinny a second chance but thank goodness they failed to impress.  Jena Irene is a belter and I suppose we have to have at least one.  Kristen still seems vapid and pageanty to me but we will see.  And, I was happy to see my man CJ get in the top 13.  I'm surprised he didn't get more votes because he is such a sweet heart.  

Have to let a little snark out about Borea and Spinny.  Borea comes on all OMG OMG OMG and then says *oh your going to get something from me* or some trash talk like that.  She's flashing her eyes and her fake smile and making little head motions to show how *polished* she is as a performer but she just looks like a Toddlers and Tiara contestant (I really think she out Lauren Alaina'd Lauren Alaina in that respect).  Thank goodness for Harry to bring the judges down to earth because I think last year's panel with Nicki in the lead would have given her a standing ovation and crowned her queen.  Borea didn't get the message that there is a new sheriff in town and cutesy expressions and flashy makeup and clothes do not make up for the fact that she stinks up the stage.  She wanted this experience to become the artist that she is and I guess she now knows that she isn't the artist America wants to see.  I suspect her biggest regret is that she will lose out on the weekly clothing allowance.  Maybe she got some red soled shoes to take home with her as a consolation prize.  

And then comes Spinny.  Spinny...the time for singing a song about loving ordinary or not ordinary girls and gazing soulfully into the camera like you are really a sensitive soul was last night.  My faith in America is renewed somewhat that he didn't get voted through and had to sing for his life.  And of course, we all know he would not even deign to practice with ordinary girls in the group rounds.  I suspect he would have no girl less than a perfect 10  because anything less would reflect badly on HIM.  Good riddance but then again...how am I supposed to blog without you?  

I'm excited about this season.  


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