"Well, I love that song"

Last night my husband and I decided to embark in a new direction with our careers. Clearly, there's a huge need for our services. And I think every AI contestant would pay top dollar ...

We're going to listen to a contestant rehearse, or just ask them "what song are you planning on singing", and then we're going to say "STOP! Why do you think you can sing that song?"

Jasmine - Love Song. No STOP! Or, if you must, then don't add 16,000 additional notes because you're trying to "jazz" it up.

Matt - Vida la Viva. No STOP! You can't be Chris Martin, ever, sorry.

Jeanine - This Love. No STOP! You do realize you're a beautiful black woman with a strong voice and not a skinny white punk kid, right?

Kris - Man in the Mirror. Hahahaha oh, that wasn't a joke?

Matt - If You Could Only See. Yes, Matt, I love that song too ZzzzzzzZzzzzzzz oh, sorry, were you singing? I fell asleep.

Is there NOBODY available to STOP these contestants from picking songs that are CLEARLY wrong? I do like ALL of these songs, but just because it's a good song, doesn't mean YOU can sing it.

I liked NONE of the guys. NONE.

I get that Adam is pre-picked to win this whole damn show, but I hated his Mick Jagger impression.

I like TWO of the girls:

Meaghan with the sleeve. Randy pinned it exactly when he compared her to Duffy, who I love, and whose CD I bought - again, that's how I decide if a contestant is good.

And Allison. Ever since I choreographed a dance to Alone in the 2nd grade, video taped it, and sent it to my Grandma and Grandpa ... I appreciate any woman who can do that song justice. I cringed when I heard she was singing it (I'd just repressed the memory of Ramiele Maluby butchering it) ... but she blew everyone else out of the water. I'm pulling for her.