Don't Impress Me Much

I'll just confess this right from the start: I know, like, 2 of Shania Twain's songs. I like them, but I don't buy her stuff. She's really pretty, and she seems very smart. I know she's an amazing artist, but I had trouble connecting last night.

Best to Worst:

Lee DeWyze - *swoon* smiling Lee *swoon*. He's hot. And also, I loved that he seemed to be channeling another hottie, David Cook, who changed Mariah Carey's song in an oh, so similar way to Lee's version of Still The One. I will say, it started out a bit rocky with just the piano. But, he pulled it together by mid-way through and I'm glad he got the praises he did.

Casey - Another "serious" performance a la Jealous Man, and I could not be more grateful that he lets go of the cheezy bar band frontman act again for Don't. He's so much more appealing when he sings a song that has more than 4 notes in it.

Crystal - "Did you know that Americans prefer Crystal Bowersox for their Idol one BAJILLION times more than other contestants." No wonder he hasn't had time to pop the question - he's been busy making custom T-shirts with novels on them. And that's all I'll say about Crystal's performance tonight.

Mike - I suppose his performance might have been "technically" good, or something. But I fell asleep during the middle of it, so I'm not sure.

And, I so wish I could take credit for this commentary on Mike's performance, but I stole it from a friend. It's so funny, I HAD to copy it here:

Big Mike performed as though he were trying out for "Dance With My Father: The Luther Vandross Story" on Broadway. Yet Michael wasn't the only one auditioning. Shania practically begged "Idol" producers to give her Paula’s old seat. Not only did she tell Big Mike he could "sing the phone book," but she also swayed like a wackadoo during his performance and then got weepy after. Besides hiccuping and pulling props out from under her seat, I don't know what else Shania could have done to remind me of Paula.

Siobhan - Any Man Of Mine was the most karaoke song I have seen in all of my years of watching AI. Complete with awkward dancing around the stage and strange outfit - strange for even Siobhan. Except for the last 20 seconds or so, where she sang the only notes she's good at singing, I hated this performance.

Eyebrows - Honestly, I don't think he was the worst performance of the night from a musical standpoint. But he sang a SONG ABOUT MAKING LOVE TO HIS MOTHER!!! You're kidding, right? Just because he changed "make love" to "show your love" does not change the meaning of the song from SEX to MOTHERHOOD. After I finished throwing up, I threw up some more.

Bottom three: Mike, Siobhan, and Casey

Going home: Mike