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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Mediocrity AKA Lana Del Ray and Final 9

Well, its not like we didn't see it coming but I was saddened by Erika Van Peldt's departure tonight.  We are left with a mediocre falsetto guy with big hair, 2 battling Diva Wannabees one of whom thinks the world of herself, a country girl with grit who needs to up her game, a rich emo kid who thinks he's edgy because he has a streak in his hair, a shucker with a guitar and a goat vibrato (a term used by the Vote For the Worst Guys which I have stolen), a gospel singer who hits and misses, a smoky voiced woman who everyone loves to hate, and Norman Gentle's and Thia Megia's love child.

When Elise is eliminated the only person I will care to see or hear perform is Skyler and she better do something interesting soon because Jimmy is right, she risks flatlining or going backwards.

But, I'm not bitter. 

Talk about mediocre...Lana Del Rey, (real name Lizze Grant) Interscope's latest pre-fabbed *indie pop* sensation...was underwhelming tonight.  And, that was her best song.  It is supposed to be about the joys of a wonderful love affair but all I could hear was whining. She wasn't quite as dreadful as she was during her Saturday Night Live appearance (if you want to bother, you can see it on YouTube) but she is not  the caliber Adele or Amy Winehouse or Gaga or any other indie sensation she is trying to emulate.  You may disagree. May I respectfully suggest, you are wrong. I have no idea how an unknown artist who has not toured manages to get her record as #1 in 20 countries on the first day of its release but I'm thinking Interscope went in and bought up all the copies in Uzbekistan and other places where they sell for ten cents a piece...or they just flat bribed some government official to force it on the masses.  It probably doesn't hurt that her father, Rob Grant, *is President and CEO of Web Media Properties which controls a global network of over 8000 highly focused vertical domain channels providing advertisers with laser targeting and conversion rates far exceeding traditional ad networks.* He has been *supporting* her career.  She was scheduled to tour in the US but the tour has been postponed (coincidentally after the disastrous SNL performance).

In contrast, Haley debuted her single Free and I thought was amazing although I could have done without the stupid cage.  Of course for me, the perfect Haley performance is her on stage alone with a microphone and one spotlight and the piano.  Free is already #32 on I-tunes.  Good for her.  She left Lana Del Papa's Money in the dust! 

So, we lose a pretty good contestant and retain Deandre and HeJun.  Sad for me.  

I don't even want to think about next week.

Oh..I guess Billy Joel stayed alert long enough to witness Jessica the Great sing his Dream song and thought it was good or something. PHFTTT!         


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