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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Colton Dixon: He's The One That We Want (Just Ask Him)

So, Nigel is listening to the fans and gave the Idols a current theme to run with this week.  They could sing any song, by any artist, in any genre released in in 2010 or later.  There were no excuses about the limited song choice this week and the judges refrained from criticizing song choice, for a change.   Surprisingly, some of these songs were familiar to me (but if I get the names of some of them wrong...blame it on my closed captioning). 

Idol needs to fill 2 hours at a point in the season when they would be heading toward one hour performance shows because Fox does not have a show to fill in the next slot.  Consequently, the audience is instructed to clap extra long for Ryan as he is introduced.   He tries to act surprised at this acclaim, but you can tell he is faking it.  Tommy  Hilfiger is brought in again to waste some time with a useless segment showing the Idols picking out new clothes to wear for everyday (as they are not wearing TH designs to perform in).  That is really pretty sad, I think for poor Tommy Hilfiger.  He's basically reduced to being their sales clerk and saying *no your butt does not look big in that*.

Then Jimmy is introduced with Akon, of whom I've never heard but he is evidently an icon in the record industry or at least his purposely mispelled name is designed to make us believe he is.  He seemed pretty helpful, actually.

Finally, we get some music from the Idols.  Skylar starts and I'm a little worried at her placement in the program but she does what Skylar does and does it well.  Kellie Pickler's Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You was a good choice for her and she had me believin' the guy was no good and maybe even ran off with her best gun as he broke her heart.  Jimmy and Akon loved her  The judges have been reading the Idol boards or other reports (or maybe Nigel has and has given them orders to at least APPEAR to be fair to the female contestants) and praise her highly.  Steven comes up with not one of the best of his Stevenisms saying the crows crow but the hens deliver the goods.  I think he meant the rooster crows but, bless his heart, his mind does not work the way most of ours do. You can blame drugs, ADHD, genius or all three. 

Colton Dixon enters the mentoring session.  Jimmy tells him he is competing with Phillips and that he needs a moment.  Colton has another song picked out, but Jimmy convinces him to try Love The Way You Lie because (as we all know) Colton has never done an emo love song before and this song will make people realize how great he is. Colton acts like he is uncomfortable being compared with Phillips but finally slips up and reveals what he has been thinking all along:  *One day its  going to be me and Phillip up there and one of us will go home*.  So he is psyching himself up for the finale he knows he will be singing in.  The judges comments were nonsensical.  They acted like Colton had been rocking out to Judas Priest or Led Zeppelin all season ala James Durbin and that this is the first time he sang softly and emotionally and showed his *sensitive* side.  Colton has shown so much sensitivity this season, his ass ought to be in a Charmin commercial.  The only time he wasn't *sensitive* was when he threw his sister under the bus at the audition (no...I have not let that go).  He annoyed the heck out of me tonight. 

Elise and Phillips sing a song I really like by Gotye called Somebody I Used To Know.  Something is up tonight because Phillips wasn't stroked very hard by the judges and they actually seemed to like Elise better.  Of course, the fake video about Elise bossing Phillips around and having to have her way about the song choice is going to do nothing for Elise's reputation as a B among the Colton/Phillips/Jessica lovers.  I suspect there will be two or three threads about it on the Idol boards.

One of the time-fillers this week was a little segment showing the Idol's home town fans making signs and having watching parties and all getting together to cheer them on...putting up signs on buildings...holding pep rallies.  Well, Bibi's hometown is no exception...except apparently the only people who live in San Diego who give a hoot about Bibi are Bibi's large extended family.  Bibi sings a song called Stuttering by Jasmine Sullivan.  I didn't know the song or the original artist.  The only remarkable thing about her performance was she did not sing Beyonce or Whitney.  Of course Beyonce has been having a baby for awhile now and Whitney is well...dead...so perhaps there were no recent Beyonce or Whitney releases for her to sing. On second thought, it was remarkable to me that at moments she sounded eerily like the woman called Erin Martin on the voice who sings like a cat in heat.  The judges praise her highly, Jimmy praises her highly, Akon praises her highly, and Colton is probably thinking *oh...maybe it will be me and Jessica in the finale instead of me and Phillips*. 

Joshua looks very sharp in his white jacket and sings a Bruno Mars song called Runaway Baby.  Fantasia comes on to wish him luck.  It was entertaining.  The judges realize they are about to succumb to deep vein thrombosis and stand up.  Randy says Josh has *got to have it* (we are already sick of this phrase, Randy).  I am amazed at the standing O because while it was enjoyable it was hardly earth shaking (except for the gogo dancer). But, the Idol boards have a term for the judges this year:  the Standing Oafs.  I think the judges proved themselves worthy of that name with this one. 

Colton and Skylar come out and do another country song duet which Colton pretends to complain about.  The chemistry between these two is looking more and more like oil and vinegar but they do fine on the song...Skylar more than Colton.  Although Randy just cannot help himself and takes a dig at Skylar's *pitch*.  Colton has no pitch...all he has is emo gutterals so I guess it would be unfair for the judges to call him *pitchy*.

Here comes Hollie trying once again to make the judges like her and it is a big fail.  She sings Perfect by Pink and the lyrics pretty much tell the story of her Idol journey.  I actually got teary eyed as she sang.  No one knows why the producers and judges hate Hollie, but they do.  I wanted to slap JLo's face when she said *you look beautiful tonight*.  I saw the trashing of Hollie tonight as the judges payback for Deandre's elimination.  Elise is a little too tough for them to take on so lets pick on the sweet young thing who has no confidence. 

Phillips goes into the mentoring session and Jimmy tells him he is competing with Colton for votes and Phillips doesn't really care.  He is singing Give A Little More by Maroon 5 and for the first eight or ten bars he actually sings the song.  Then he reverts to ManBearPig and growls and grunts and oinks his way through the rest of the song just like he has done in the past.  But....shocker...we have a sea change.  The judges have just realized that he does the same thing every single week and that maybe it isn't all that original anymore.  Whether the judges actually thought it was as bad as the rest of America could see it was...who knows.  They may have been ordered to criticize one of the guys to make up for the pre-determined trashing of Hollie. But Phillips is no longer their Prince.  I predict he will be on a downhill slide in their eyes until he is voted off (they hope) before Colton, Joshua and Jessica. 

The three *big voices* do a trio and Joshua outsings the girls...he really is a big ham.  Jessica looks like she is the walking dead...I don't think she likes not being the center of the universe and doesn't take to it well. Holly gives it her all but it doesn't matter anymore for her.  

Finally Elise gets the pimp spot.  Again.  Good for her.  She sings the Gaga song You and I and while not quite the moment her Zeppelin was, it was very good.  If you recall, last season, before this song was officially released, Gaga let Haley perform it.  Haley got trashed for singing an unreleased song that *no one would know*.  The judges give Elise praise but their legs are feeling ok now, so they don't stand up.  

Predictions:  bottom 3 Hollie, Elise, and Skylar or Joshua.  Going home:  Hollie or Elise.  

If you have read my recent post, we have been getting comments from anonymous readers who we don't think we know.  We love that all sorts of people are reading this blog but I had to lay down some ground rules as one comment (which was not published) was so hateful toward certain ethnic and racial groups and contained about every variation of the f word you could dream up, I could not let it stand even though the commenter agreed with me that Bibi is a bore.    

Mr. Auntee pointed out to me that the reason no one is commenting is that no one can figure out how to comment so I put the directions up top for people like Mr. Auntee, who are Mensa members.

One of these days I'm going to figure out how to put a poll up so you all can vote on something!      


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