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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Nicki Minaj, You Are No Billie Holliday

Well, now we know what the fuss was all about.  The question is, do we care?  All I can say about  Nicki  (as one of my old clients used to say when trying to explain why someone who was a terrible worker still had their job): *She must have pictures*.  Nothing else can explain the obvious pandering and coddling of this no-talent  derivative of Madonna via Gaga except abject fear that she will  release some embarassing photos of Nigel Lythgoe or Simon Fuller.  Perhaps that explains how she got the job in the first place.   And if Mariah Carey is putting up with it...I guess if you paid me 18 million dollars I could take the high road too. 

But does Nicki have to introduce every contestant?  Do we have to see a menage of M(e)naj's greatest nicknames just after she shut down production (and upset all the extras waiting to audition) because Randy pointed out he has been in the business 30 years compared to her 30 minutes? Thats like giving a 3 year old who just threw a tantrum some candy.  Just how terrible could those pictures be?  The real problem with the audition that started it all was that Summer, the extra, hit a nerve with Keith Urban and the conversation turned to country music and away from Nicki.

Ok..rant over.  But fair warning...this show is getting harder and harder for me to care about.  When I seriously considered watching Wife Swap instead...you know where I stand.

All of that said, I did think some of the extras showed some promise tonight.  I thought Summer was average, to tell you the truth and not worth all the drama but the follow up country girl, Janela O. Arthur, who played a young Dolly Parton when she was a child, might do well in Hollywood.  I also like Candace Glover (although she might get old to me if she keeps doing Josh Ledet) and felt bad that Randy clearly didn't remember her from last season...asking...*where have you been?*.  She showed a lot of restraint not to say *cursing out you, Steven and Jennifer for cutting me last season Randy*. The frog-giggin girl from Clover was interesting and had a clear pure voice I thought.  Also, Brandy Alexandria, the girl who had to go in first after Nicki's hissy-fit, was rather sweet and I would like to hear more of her.   The one who surprised me and at the same time irritated the heck out of me was Ashley (aka *Blondie*) who looked like a poor man's version of Nicki M(e)naj.  Someone needs to tell her that shtick has been done and done and done.   To Blondie's credit, however, she probably sings better than Nicki who I believe relies very heavily on auto-tune when she isn't rapping (and maybe when she is). 

The interesting thing about the auditions so far, is that most of the promising extras are women.  Either they are not showing the men who have talent or there are not that many of them.  The Voice of Charlotte may do well and he certainly has an appealing story.  But I am not giving up on the men.  There WILL be a WGWG who emerges sooner or later as a front runner and all these promising women will be left to languish with Haley and Crystal, and Elise, and all the rest of the talented women who got pushed aside in past seasons so some guy can sing Hallelujah in the finale and never be heard from again.

And, I loved Mariah's homage to Billie Holliday who is one of my all time favorite singers ever in the world.  Keith, you need to get with the program and get to know Billie.



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