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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Detroit Deficit

I swear sometimes that there is a person at Idol whose job is to read all the obscure blogs like mine and then torment their authors.  Last week I mocked the Chamber and this week they mocked me by starting the program featuring the Chamber.  I know they really weren't mocking ME, but how is that for prescience on my part.  They really are hawking that stupid Chamber to the point of nausea.


OK, we all know Detroit is a bankrupt city that is literally falling down in front of its residents.  It appears that Detroit not only is running a deficit on its balance sheet but that it also is running a deficit in talent.  About half way through, I noticed that no one auditioning was actually from Detroit...or anywhere near Detroit.  There was Kansas, Indiana, Georgia, Miami.  Heck, even the one gal from Detroit now lives in Hollywood.  They gave away 40 golden tickets and only 20 went to people who were from any where that could be considered Greater Detroit or even Michigan.  Of course, what happened was that when they had the cattle call auditions in Detroit, they came up short of worthy contestants so had to send it people who first auditioned in other cities for the judges two day stint.  Or at least that is what I'm thinking.  It makes sense considering people have been leaving Detroit in droves. 


I made notes on nearly all the auditions but only starred a few for comment as I think there was quite a lot of fodder presented tonight. 


My first star went to Malaya, the 16 year old tuba player.  I normally am not a fan of these young things.  I think the show is too slanted toward them as they try to find the next Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus and end up with Angies and Jessicas. Malaya is the anti-Angie/Jessica.  She just made me smile.  I hope she does well. 


Right after Malaya, Brian Watt (aka *Superman*) auditioned.  I didn't really make notes on his talent but he was one Ken doll look alike wasn't he?  If he makes it to the live shows, I think he might be a favorite based on his looks alone. 


My Z scale came out with Christiane (no last name because she uses only ONE name like Rihanna and Beyonc√©).  She is clearly a legend in her own mind and cannot wait to perform for millions and get all the glory and fame she believes she is entitled to.  She has an accent even though she was born and raised in America because her father is Sicilian.  I called her accent fake right then just like Tatiana's accent was.  She sang poorly.  I didn't see anything redeeming in her voice and neither did Keith.  I don't know what Jennifer was thinking putting her through and I really don't know what Harry was thinking as he clearly pegged her as a big old fake when he noted her accent went away. I have a feeling we are looking to a huge Hollywood Week meltdown from her.  Boo! Z scale score:  7.5


Another Z scale score went to the hefty guy who loved Harry Connick and sang Sinatra.  His voice wasn't horrible but it wasn't really a moving performance and as Keith noted he lacked sex appeal.  I almost felt sorry for him except for his bragging to his fellow contestants and his sour grapes response when they said no.  He is a jerk and therefore he is not entitled to sing Sinatra.  Z scale score: 7.


Damon from last year made it through again.  He is the one whose wife Nikki sassed during Vegas week.  She hated him and I think it was because he had a wife.  I hope he does well but I wonder if he has the charisma to go all the way. 


The highest Z scale score has to go to Carlita and Riquita, the dynamic identical twins who boasted of their natural talent.  Oh..that was painful.  It wasn't even a question of not being quite ready yet.  J Lo was kind when she compared them to a high school talent show act.  Their alternating solos were horrific enough but they couldn't even harmonize!  Z scale score: 8.5.


One contestant I really liked, because she reminded me of Hailey Reinhardt, was Melanie from Kennesaw, Georgia.  I noticed that JLo was less impressed with her probably because she saw the resemblance to Haley, who she treated abominably during Haley's season.  Sometimes JLo has a bit of the evil stepmother in her and you wonder if she goes back to her dressing room and asks the mirror who is the fairest of all.  (I don't take credit for that comment...I will refer you to the genius who originally said it shortly). 


Ethan Harris, the Keith Urban fan, is one to watch I think.  I actually thought this before I looked at the spoilers and you will just have to take my word for it that I did.


The final Z score goes to Ryan with the Pompadour who lost a lot of weight.   OK...he is *sui generis* (isn't JLo smart...take your Pentatonic scale Harry and shove it) in an obvious way.  This pompadour thing must be a new in thing because even the guy from Kansas had one but I have to admit that Ryan's was bigger.  I was not impressed with his song choice (Arms of an Angel is a song whose lyrics make no sense to me...does the person die in their sleep?  Does a ghostly angel watch over them as they sleep? What the heck is the song about?) and I want to relegate that song to the *never sing on Idol again* along with Hallelujah, I Who Have Nothing, and anything sung by Whitney Houston.  I don't know why they put him through.  I thought he was an 8 on the Z scale.


Finally, we get another teen, Marielle Sellars.  I think she is going to be pushed pushed pushed on us much in the same way as Lauren Alaina was.  I didn't hate her.  I just don't think I'm going to be a fan of hers as time goes on...I'm rooting for the Tuba girl.


For those of you with time on your hands and an enough interest, there is a great video recap of Idol episodes done by a guy named Michael Slezak.  You will have to google him.  He and Melinda Doolittle (one of my favorite ever on Idol) do commentary and together they are hilarious.  They don't always agree and they have great rapport with each other.  I haven't read this weeks recap but here is a link to it.  http://tvline.com/tag/american-idol/ 


Ok, I don't know where they are going next.  I've had enough auditions and we are probably not even half way through them.  ARRRGH. 
 

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