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I apologize for not blogging my thoughts about Billy Joel week before last night's elimination. You'll be relieved, though, when you find out that my opinions were/are apparently totally backwards and opposite of the rest of America's.
For example:
I LOVED Erika's makeover!! I thought she looked edgy, and trendy.
I also got a little teary at Baby-Of-The-Week's Piano Man, it was absolutely beautiful.
I thought Hollie looked ridiculous in her pants suit.
So, maybe it's better that my thoughts on Billy Joel week were left unsaid, seeing as how I've completely gone off my rocker.
Last night -
Unsurprisingly, Erika gets voted off. Unsurprisingly, the judges save the save.
Unsurprisingly, Lana Del Ray sucked.
Unsurprisingly, Haley was gorgeous and awesome. (I will agree that the cage was weird.) I always said I'd buy her music, and true to my word, I'll download that song from iTunes. It was lovely, and I hope it's indicative of a long, successful career for her.
On another note - Heejun has come full circle for me. Remember during group week when I called him a dick? It may have been edited out for the past few weeks, but he's still a dick.
Erika, who actually WANTS a singing career, is on her way out the door. And Heejun (who is wearing the same track pants that MrKK SLEEPS IN), admits that he "doesn't want to be a star" and rolls his eyes at Jimmy Iovine when confronted with the fact that AI is dishing out a lot of money to make these kids celebrities. Even JLo is getting annoyed with 'Tude, and tries to appeal to him with a "think of the kids" line.
Look, he doesn't want to be here. He was obviously disappointed that he wasn't voted off last night. He has no respect for the individuals who are actually TRYING to make a career or this, and he's blatently mocking them. Let's give the kid what he deserves, huh?
Well, its not like we didn't see it coming but I was saddened by Erika Van Peldt's departure tonight. We are left with a mediocre falsetto guy with big hair, 2 battling Diva Wannabees one of whom thinks the world of herself, a country girl with grit who needs to up her game, a rich emo kid who thinks he's edgy because he has a streak in his hair, a shucker with a guitar and a goat vibrato (a term used by the Vote For the Worst Guys which I have stolen), a gospel singer who hits and misses, a smoky voiced woman who everyone loves to hate, and Norman Gentle's and Thia Megia's love child.
When Elise is eliminated the only person I will care to see or hear perform is Skyler and she better do something interesting soon because Jimmy is right, she risks flatlining or going backwards.
But, I'm not bitter.
Talk about mediocre...Lana Del Rey, (real name Lizze Grant) Interscope's latest pre-fabbed *indie pop* sensation...was underwhelming tonight. And, that was her best song. It is supposed to be about the joys of a wonderful love affair but all I could hear was whining. She wasn't quite as dreadful as she was during her Saturday Night Live appearance (if you want to bother, you can see it on YouTube) but she is not the caliber Adele or Amy Winehouse or Gaga or any other indie sensation she is trying to emulate. You may disagree. May I respectfully suggest, you are wrong. I have no idea how an unknown artist who has not toured manages to get her record as #1 in 20 countries on the first day of its release but I'm thinking Interscope went in and bought up all the copies in Uzbekistan and other places where they sell for ten cents a piece...or they just flat bribed some government official to force it on the masses. It probably doesn't hurt that her father, Rob Grant, *is President and CEO of Web Media Properties which controls a global network of over 8000 highly focused vertical domain channels providing advertisers with laser targeting and conversion rates far exceeding traditional ad networks.* He has been *supporting* her career. She was scheduled to tour in the US but the tour has been postponed (coincidentally after the disastrous SNL performance).
In contrast, Haley debuted her single Free and I thought was amazing although I could have done without the stupid cage. Of course for me, the perfect Haley performance is her on stage alone with a microphone and one spotlight and the piano. Free is already #32 on I-tunes. Good for her. She left Lana Del Papa's Money in the dust!
So, we lose a pretty good contestant and retain Deandre and HeJun. Sad for me.
I don't even want to think about next week.
Oh..I guess Billy Joel stayed alert long enough to witness Jessica the Great sing his Dream song and thought it was good or something. PHFTTT!
Well, we have another standing ovation for our vision of perfection, Jessica Sanchez, as she sings Every Body Has A Dream to praise and acclaim by the universe. I have a dream. I have a dream I won't have to hear her oversing, overtrick, overrun, over vibrato and over melisma ever again. I think my dream will die on the vine. She gets the girl's *dream* spot for the 3rd time this season (also known as the pimp spot). Idol is telling you that she is not going and you just better get used to it.
Tonight's theme was the songbook of Billy Joel and nine other people were lucky enough to sing back up for Jessica tonight. If Billy is not already passed out for the night, I'm sure he is amazed and grateful that Jessica turned out to be the one he wrote that Dream song for lo those many years ago. It is probably blasphemy for me to talk about anything but that moment in time where the song and the singer came together but I will risk the Idol god's wrath and talk about those 9 other people who were allowed on the stage tonight.
Diandre (aka Hair) is up first and switched to an uptempo song, Only The Good Die Young, after several weeks of singing ballads. In the mentoring session, Jimmy talks about trying to make it with Catholic girls and Diddy talks about Christie Brinkley. All of this goes *whoosh* over Deandre's head of silky hair. Confession, I am beginning to like Deandre personally even though I'm not a fan of his singing. He seems like a sweet kid. As he goes upbeat he pops up and down a lot and the performance was not a disaster but certainly nothing anyone will remember tomorrow. I barely remember it now.
Up next is Erika Van Peldt who I like a lot. Based on last weeks votes, she will be the next one to go home unless she has a really wow moment. She must have flipped Nigel Lythgoe off or something because she is not only given a death spot...they give her (the most beautiful contestant in the contest) a horrendous makeover so she looks like an ugly female impersonator. The Vote For The Worst guys called her new look a cross between Rosie O'Donnell and KD Lang. I guess she thought she should take some image risks since Idol has been determined to keep her out of the spotlight by putting her in the death spot 3 weeks in a row but for crying out LOUD. Ok, her hair needed a trim. But, you do not make blonde girls blue/black brunettes. They just look like harsh old women in a bingo parlor with helmet head. I was so appalled at how ugly they made her look I could barely focus on her performance. She picked a good song, and she sang it well, but I don't think it will make any difference. Ironically, since they made her give up her goldielocks, they give her the goldielocks judging treatment. Last week she oversang, the week before that she undersang, this week she undersang again. They. Hate. Her. There is no other explanation.
Joshua, who has incensed the Jessica lovers on Idol boards because he got better reviews that she did last week, is put back in his proper place by the judges. They were not feeling it from him tonight. I thought he had a good song choice and don't understand why he couldn't relate to it. I thought he made it his own but the choir coming in at the end (which the judges loved) I thought was unnecessary. Steven says he had never heard that song before. Say WHAAA? Its hard to believe until you realize that Steven was in a drug induced black out for most of the 80s and 90s.
Up next is Skylar, who is one of my favorites but when I heard she was going to do a country twist on Billy Joel, I had visions of Kristy Lee Cook and the Eight Days A Week debacle. It was not a debacle but won't win her any new fans. I don't think she needs any new fans at this point so she will be safe.
Elise must have seen Erika come home from the beauty parlor because she was having NONE of the advice she was given and thank goodness for that. She sings Vienna which I was not familiar with but which I was loving by the end of the song. I like this girl more and more and in my opinion, THIS was the performance of the night and should have gone last. Since she didn't take their advice and sing a song totally unsuited for her or wear the clothes Tommy selected, she gets stuck in the middle where she won't be remembered very well.
Up next is Phillips and he is not buying the mentoring/styling either. He shucks his way through both sessions making them think he is listening to them and just does what he wants to do with Movin Out. He still looks to me like he is in some sort of physical pain relating to his potty problems when he performs, but I must admit this was the first performance of his that made me see what all the fuss is about. I'm not spending any time voting for him though.
Poor Hollie. I must be tone deaf as I didn't hear the pitchiness they all complained about. I didn't like her little spangled midriff top...but I agree she needs to dress her age. I'm just not sure the hootchie cootchie look is *her*. I actually thought this was the first of her performances where I could detect she was feeling the song but the judges weren't buying it.
And oh boy...HeJun REALLY cannot take criticism well, can he? He is still feeling sorry for himself after last week and does My Life. Nice that he changed to uptempo from a ballad but he pretty much sang this as a *kiss my ass* to the judges. Steven was not amused. I thought it was funny but it was basically HeJun does Norman Gentle. It did make me smile. He bought himself a couple more weeks with that one I suppose...not because it was good or he deserves a couple more weeks...he is clearly the least talented one left...but because his fans will lap it up.
Diddy and Jimmy are falling out of their chairs praising Jessica during the mentoring session although they do warn her not to oversing the song. She oversings it anyway. Thats OK by everyone. I thought she was flat but I thought Hollie was on pitch. Jessica is back where she belongs and lapping it up like a cat with cream.
I love the song Piano Man (primarily because I think the best place to be is in a piano bar with gin getting all sentimental and weepy over old songs) and everyone knew Colton was going to sing it. I have been critical of Colton but I did love his performance tonight. He has come out this week as a Christian and says he wants to do Christian Rock after this is over. So did Danny Gokey but he went to Nashville instead..maybe Christian Rock didn't want Danny? (Danny's Nashville recording contract has been cancelled). Colton isn't going anywhere for a long time.
So...I'm afraid this is going to be one long season for me.
Tomorrow Haley performs her new song live which I have heard and it is awesome and Lana Del Rey performs via pre-recorded taping. I didn't know much about LDR until today when I youtubed her. She gave a horrible live performance on SNL a month or so ago and has been the subject of much ridicule since. I think she was picked up by Interscope as their answer to Amy Winehouse and Adele as she pretty much imitates one in looks and the other in song subjects. I'm not sure what I think of her. I think she might be a fake but I could be wrong. We will see how she does tomorrow night.
I must confess that I have strayed from Idol and taken up with the Voice (but only on the side and it means nothing and is only about the music). I think that Voice has, generally speaking, a much larger talent pool than Idol and wonder where they came from and why Idol didn't manage to attract them. Someone enlighten me on how these people are chosen to audition. I know the age restrictions are lifted which is a good thing and (at least at first), the image restrictions are lifted. I'm not sure I'm a fan of the *battle* format because there are a lot of good ones going home.
But, my REAL question, and the reason for this post is: Is Christina Aguilera ever going to change her outfit? I'm getting pretty tired of that black cow patty on her head and I realize plunging necklines with two-sided tape to keep the nips from showing are all the rage but come one...give us some variety here! Sure, all of the battles were probably taped on the same day but so are the Jeopardy shows for a week and somehow the librarian from Oshkosh manages an outfit change for each taping on a much smaller clothing budget than the Voice presumably has for its superstar!
That is my biggest complaint about my new interest.
Update: When I wrote the above I had only seen the 2nd half of tonight's show (I had to watch House). Then I read the buzz about the Erin/Shield's Brother's Performance and watched it. WTH? That Erin is right up there with Bikini Girl and Tatiana on my all time contestants I loathe list! And she WON! CeeLo was not thinking with his ears.
I'm just going to call B.S. on this whole story ...
Phillip Phillips' family can't afford to fly to see him on AI. So, the whole town is chipping in.
You're telling me that as much camera time as AI gave Pitcher Migraine and Lauren Alaina's mom, Nigel won't pony up $3,000 to fly out the-chosen-one's family?
Especially in light of all of these medical emergencies the kid is dealing with?
Two words: sympathy. vote.
Poor Phillip Phillip's Family
The theme for this week is Billy Joel. I can only imagine what some of them will do with this one!
These two parents have some weird draw that makes the cameraperson forget the CHILD is actually performing and spend entirely too much time zooming in on the adult.
I know I talked bad about Shannon from the beginning, and her "sing for your life" performance showed that she really did deserve to go, but she seems like a nice girl. $100 says she gets a modeling or TV gig out of this.
Daughtry was there. Demi Lovato was there.
On another note - You can't really call yourself a blogger until somebody has called you insecure and told you to grow up.
Auntee and I LOVE to read your comments! If you disagree with us, we (unlike those *other* Idol boards - where Auntee will no longer be welcome in a few short weeks) do respect others' opinions.
So comment away!
(It's only 80% likely that we'll make fun of your comments at a later date.)
Well, KK told us so. She nailed the bottom three. I'm glad she was wrong about Erika, but I must say, I was a little sad to see Migraine go. I know I didn't like her from the get go but she has worn me down with her sweet ways and I figured out tonight, as she was singing her swan song, that the person in the Migraine family I really don't like is her mother...who is always singing along with Shannon whenever she sings. By rights, it should have been HeJun and Hair sitting on the bottom 3 stools with her and one of them should have gone home.
The judges actually might have saved Elise, which would have brought on all sorts of hatred on the boards as she has been targeted by the *attitude police* for not being overjoyed when she is placed in the bottom three and not hugging the winner when she is named a potential loser.
Shannon was just in over her head. Pushy parents just couldn't wait another year or two for her to mature.
Readers will not be surprised that I am persona non grata to some of the posters on the AI forum boards. Seems tee70 called Colton's performance a bs, fake, self-indulgent pile of doo doo. This very astute critique engendered an indignant response about my level of maturity (I guess I should have said feces or excrement instead) and a lecture from another poster on respecting other's opinions. I'm wondering why he didn't respect MY opinion. I would have responded but its a little early in the season for me to be banned...I'm sure it will happen sooner or later (it never fails).
Have no idea what the theme is next week, but they better get some life in this show. For the most part, the last 2 weeks have been snooze-fests with the occasional rude awakening.
Idol gossip: It looks like HeJun and Phillip(s) are buddies.
Best to Worst:
Jermaine's speaking voice. It's higher than mine! And he has a lisp! Funniest criminal ever. Ba Bye.
Joshua!! He was amazing from the minute he sucked the brain out of the crawfish, to calling his Mama "maam", to wanting to sing in church but being too misbehaved, to Oh. My. God. When a Man Loves a Woman just turned me into a big pile of mush. Were those tears in his eyes?!? There were in my eyes, for sure. I'm with JLo, "I can't stop saying Wow".
Hollie - I don't know why I doubted a girl that might weigh all of 80 lbs might not belt Celine's Power of Love, and we're all wondering where in the hell she keeps that gumption, but she's ridiculous. And I'll just say it, she's better than Jessica. Plus, how adorable was it when her Dad broke down and then blamed the sun?
Elise - Even Will.I.Am wanted a smile out of her. Look, Elise, I love your voice. I think you're unique and awesome. I love your song choice of Lets Stay Together, and you were great. The attitude thing might not stand in the way of an actual career in music, but when you're pining for the votes of American tweens, you need to drop it.
Skylar Laine - Was a headbanging baby? Awesome! This wasn't my favorite performance of hers, but I love that she stuck to her country guns and opted for Bonnie Raitt instead of Coolio (Coolio, Will.I.Am? Really?) She's adorable, her parents are adorable. Now, Skylar, get back in my pocket where you belong.
Here's a Tie between Heejun and Erika -
I give Erika the edge because she, as a baby, reminds me (as Auntee hinted) of another LOUD toddler I know and love - Heaven is a beautiful song. Is it weird that I totally understood and agreed with everything Stephen Tyler said? She put in too much. Too many runs, too much vibrato, too many extra notes. She didn't butcher it, by any means, but I think she's in trouble this week.
Heejun's mother is awesome - "I think he gets his humor from me". They seem like the kind of family that I'd like to hang out with, because they're just sort of silly and fun. Heejun's Right Here Waiting fell right into his pattern of singing corny 80's ballads. (Note: I find it interesting that he mentioned how his accent is a struggle, and I wonder if it's gotten more and more noticeable to others, like it has for me?)
Jessica Sanchez - Was advised by her stage parents to do "up beat" as to not fall into the "ballad trap" (which leads to untimely demises ala Pia) She claims the song list was tiny (I doubt her parents even let her see the list), and the judges poo-pooed that later in the show by noting there's probably 20,000 songs/year to choose from.
Migraine - She didn't slaughter One Sweet Day, but I owned that casette tape, played it on repeat, wanted to BE Mariah, and wanted to MARRY Boys II Men, and she didn't do it justice either. Plus, how many times do we have to be reminded that her Dad was a pitcher? Yawn.
Phillip Phillips - Was apparently named that on purpose. I thought maybe he'd been adopted or something. Mean. I guess his stones explain why it looks like he's in pain when he's singing? Hard to Handle, was in deed.
Colton Dixson - Everybody else is all over this kid's nuts (even Daughtry, apparently. shame on you, Daughtry.) He's down this low for 2 reasons: (1) his song sucked, and (2) BABY OF THE WEEK?!? Not only did he steal his sister's Idol audition, he probably stole her Idol spot, he was the star pitcher, and he was born baby of the week. His poor sister can never compete with baby of the week.
Hair - I actually think Endless Love was a better choice than Lion King's Can You Feel the Love. But both would've been filled with lots of annoying vibrato and hair tossing. Plus, the suit alone put him at the bottom.
Bottom 3: Shannon, Erika, and Elise
Going home: Erika
beneath the Philly sky , the cops are waiting for me, as I say goodbye.* I must mention that Mr. Auntee, who is from Philly, was not at all surprised to learn that Jermaine was from his neck of the woods.
Talk about drama! Jermaine turns out to be a garden variety thug and not the Gentle Giant. I doubt we will ever know the real reason Idol decided to seek the *cooperation of law enforcement* which led to Jermaine's untimely exit. Some gossip sites are saying he was acting aggressive behind the scenes, yelling at wardrobe people, and losing his temper. Or maybe it was the conflicting stories he and his long lost father were putting forth in their press battle for public sympathy. We certainly saw a small bit of entitlement on his part last week but I must admit I was not as astute as KK and chalked that all up to nerves on his part.
I wasn't too happy with how Idol handled the situation tonight. There was no need to build the *suspense* for the audience for 3/4 of the show. It doesn't really bother me that he was publicly humiliated but I think making it a part of the show was unfair to the other contestants. Still.. showing him sing *Somewhere Out There* was pricelessly ironic.
As for the actual show tonight, for me it was just *meh* with 2 or 3 exceptions.
Since Phillip Phillips, the *original* is favored so highly, they give him the poop spot figuring he will be safe. We get a bid for sympathy due to his kidney stones and hear that he almost died as an infant because part of his bowel was dead. Entirely too much information about his elimination processes past and present as far as I'm concerned, even if this is the poop spot performance. I don't know what song he sang. It sounded like every other performance of his and every other growly male singer I've heard. Nice kid, I'm sorry he has potty problems, but he is not one to get my vote.
Up next is Jessica, our little Miss Perfect, who I'm sure you were surprised to learn, was a Diva as a baby. She makes an odd choice of *Turn the Beat Around* and all I can think of is the margarine commercial and *Turn the Tub Around*. She does a good job with it if you like that sort of thing although that little *ready for it* in the middle was cheese on toast. She didn't get a standing ovation which appeared to surprise her. And the judges did not slobber on her as usual. She explained that there were not a lot of songs to choose from in 1995 (well in her mind, probably not a lot of songs that were worthy of her voice). My guess is that she chose an upbeat song thinking it was going to show the world that *I can sing the phonebook yoo dawg* and it backfired.
HeJun is likeable as usual but had a perfectly dreadful performance of *Right Here Waiting For You* (or whatever the song title is). Good song, but he blew it. I think he is safe because he has lots of fans who love him for his personality and really don't care if he can sing well or not.
Elise is out for redemption and nails her song (why did I not write down all the song titles?). I was caught up in her performance and wishing her well as she took a lot of abuse on the American Idol Fan Boards for having a *bad attitude* last week. She did great I thought but it may be too late.
Diandre got bad reviews for his song (another one I cannot remember the name of) but I actually liked him better tonight than at any other time except he had to ruin it by adding that stupid falsetto at the end. Surprisingly, the judges were hard on him too tonight.
Up next is Migraine and I told you she would sing about love and hope this week and redeem herself. I didn't think her vocals were all that great but there was love and hope and for good measure heaven involved and the judges seemed to want to give her a pass. We note that she was a cute little girl and Daddy has to make sure we know he was *somebody* once so we get pictures of him pitching.
Colton, of course, chooses an obscure song filled with emo. We learn that Daughtry is a fan so now Colton is a rocker and not an emo piano singer. The little girls will go crazy as they imagine they can cure the broken heart he sang about. Steven saw through the bs, bless his heart and gave him a scathing review with a look of disgust on his face. Steven has figured out this guy is a poser. Randy and JLo are still in love with him.
Erika lets loose on her song and follows Jimmy's advice on the arrangement. For two weeks they have been telling her to let loose but THIS is the week she was supposed to hold back. Will I Am tells the audience she will go home. Nice. She probably will if only because Will told the audience she would. I thought she did great and didn't take too many notes because I was enjoying the performance. I will note, however, that she was one beautiful baby who reminded me of another beautiful baby I know who sings a lot of songs to her mother. Of course both JLo and Randy give her the kiss of death by telling her she looks beautiful (meaning..you don't look as fat tonight...even though she is not fat she's only not anorexic).
I'm pretty bored by now so I guess its time to bring on the Jermaine drama. He didn't seem too upset when they tell him its over or maybe they had ten security men standing just out of camera range.
I'm not sorry he got caught in his lies.
Skylar comes on and sings Bonnie Riatt's *Love Sneaking Up on You* which is not a song I'm familiar with. She does a good performance but because I didn't really love the song, I didn't love her as much as I normally do.
Thank the Lord and his momma and daddy for Josh LeDet because thus far, apart from Jermaine, this show has been pretty much of a snoozer. What woman doesn't melt at *When A Man Loves A Woman?* (I bet even lesbians melt at that song). I tend to agree with JLo that this is the best performance I have seen on American Idol or at least one of the top 4 or 5. Plus he's such a nice guy! I even forgive the cheesy taking off his suit jacket because its sort of a retro Motown move. A great comeback from a so/so performance last week and I hope he gets a lot of votes. Now...if he can avoid turning into Jacob...I'll look forward to him every week until he gets booted off for the WGWG or Little Miss Perfect.
Hollie takes on The Power of Love by Celine Dion and I maybe am only imagining this is her answer to Little Miss Perfect who grabbed THE song last week. Hollie is not to be underestimated. She looks fragile but I sense she is pretty cool, calculating, and can go for the jugular if pushed. I like that about her because I think she will use her power for good and not evil! She did not quite have a *moment* (following Joshua didn't help) but did a great job.
I'm afraid Will I Am may be right and Erika is going home. I'm sorry because I want to see her sing more. He Jun should go home..but not likely.
Unfortunately, the Gentle Giant went running scared.
The rumors were that AI would show video of the "confrontation" between producers and Jermaine, and that he'd be kicked off the show tonight, in front of God and country.
Looks like that's no longer the case.
Boo, because that would've made for some great TV!
Gentle Giant lands in Philly
